Well well well...it's been awhile since I am writing. To have actually writing out my feelings. I guess I am so used to bottle my feelings up that I am convinced I am okay. Actually...I am not. I am definitely not okay.
Everything that happened to me has been a nightmare. A nightmare that I won't be able to wake up from. My life is so monotonous...everyday, I am like a hamster. Running round and round the wheel, trying to search for happiness. It's a cycle which never ends. A nightmare that never ends. A meaningless life.
I have convinced myself that tomorrow will come, everything will be better, my life will be more colourful. Instead, I am still in black, white and grey world. So dull, so bored, so lifeless...so dead...Will I die with my life wasting away like this?
Work hard, work smart, work work work...done all that and been doing that. Life...sometimes, I get a speck of hope but it becomes gloomy again. Life...I thought I saw a sun behind the clouds, instead it continues to rain.
Life...I have seen flowerbuds...but never been able to blossom. Life...Is my life going to just waste like this?
I am now working hard, striving, struggling to get the hold of the ray of hope. Even if it's just a little light, I am going to keep it in my heart, to hope that day of happiness to arrive soon. Never give up. Always keep the faith. Sooner or later, it will come eventually. For now, I keep praying...I pray...
